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I Married A Cynic by Andrea Gilmour

February 03, 2016

I Married A Cynic by Andrea Gilmour

I married a cynic.

I knew that going in but after 13 years of marriage it still catches me by surprise from time to time. Two years ago I found myself bidding on various auction items at our kid’s school. This happens when you get caught up in the excitement of a school "gala” - all dolled up, babysitter in the wings, and walking distance to home. It was a regular “Perfect Storm” of sorts for this parent of three young children.

Neighbors and friends ply you with free drink tickets and encourage you to "live on the edge for the night” - and after all of the planning of a fundraiser why shouldn't you throw caution to the wind and bid up your fellow elementary school PAC Members?  

It's dangerous, that's why.

Most of us misunderstand the concept of an’s about winning a coveted item, not about recklessly bidding on all of them.  

The disclaimer is just not that obvious. Absolutely no trade-sies, no “oops, I really didn't need a compound miter saw,” and definitely NO returns.  

As I said earlier... DANGEROUS!  

It was then that I stumbled upon an artfully managed display for WithinUs TruMarine™ Collagen.  After a few well-placed elbows to unsuspecting parents, I found myself the successful bidder of a two-month supply of said product.

It wasn’t until my husband and I loaded up our arms to walk our wares home that he noticed the pretty white box (with the distinctive blue accents) on the top of the pile. It was the one item he couldn't immediately identify.  Initially he didn't comment, but as is our usual custom when we arrived home, we had a bit of show and tell of sorts.

Our "take home" was a cornucopia of unrelated gems. This is when he smirked, furrowed his brow and picked up the small, clinical white box. “COLLAGEN????” he said  aloud.  It was  his way – in one word and in one look questioning my purchase and its validity. This, coming from a man who tried to  purchase “Principal for a Day” and Whitecaps tickets for a date that he likely wouldn't be in town to attend.  

I believed wholeheartedly in the testimonials on the outside of the box.  The Cynic wanted to see scientific results, periodic tables and medical journals - anything concrete that he could support or dismiss based on indisputable, categorical evidence. I wasn't entirely interested in all the scientific data that accompanied the box nor did I need to read the reams of medical data available. I'm an emotional buyer, I was literally ready to buy shares in the company when Nancy down the street whispered, "It’s awesome!” HE can be science, I'LL be testimonials.

Later on in the morning after walking three kids to school, I laced up my runners and began my regular morning run through the trails and over the hills.

Each day for two months it began the same way, a scoop of collagen in my coffee followed by a run. By the two month mark I started to feel something different, something that my running partner was not feeling.  The pain in my hips wasn't bothering me. I started to take notice. I started to bugle about it to my husband.  I found myself saying, "You should try this stuff - I don't feel the same level of pain in my hips after running." I was treated to a raised eyebrow and a quiet, "huh". This implied that he had heard it before, read the brochure and lived with my eternal optimism for over a decade.  

So I gave up… on trying to convince him.   

The next morning as I reached for a coffee mug, I was baffled when I saw that the Cynic had kindly (and quite unpredictably) taken the TruMarine™ Collagen out of the cupboard for me so as to ease my multi-step routine.  “How kind,” I thought.  The next day, the same thing:  TruMarine™ Collagen out on the counter with my coffee mug beside it. “What a gem of a man,” I mused, “so thoughtful.”  

Until the third morning, when I noticed misplaced, powdery white residue next to HIS coffee cup. Could it be? Could the cynic be secretly ingesting my miracle potion without my knowledge?  

Shock and awe overtook me. 

Was he taking my magic elixir, my feel good, look great tonic without my knowledge? Could HE, (without admitting out loud) have done a little independent, scientific research on his own and maybe... be a convert to TruMarine™ Collagen? Did I finally have the evidence to say those three, enticingly provocative words, “I AM RIGHT!”?  I needed to know for sure so I set the bait.

To be continued...


Andrea Gilmour, an at-home mother of three opinionated, thoughtful, and active daughters, delights in writing and creating life stories about the uninhibited joys of raising three young women. In February 2003 with the birth of her first child, she was self elected, Head of Household and became a leading voice for the promotion of the sheer glamour and sexiness of the at-home MOM.  In 2013, Andrea was named (by her nine-year-old daughter, Georgia) in a self-written novel as, “One of the most influential moms that she has ever known.”

Today, Andrea writes a blog to encapsulate the joys and wonders of being a CEO with none of the time off, benefits package, or staff required to run a successful company. She is a mum and a wife with a really cool day job…

To read highlights from Andrea's day job visit:

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